Yes! You Can. Promoting Independence with Children

I recently learned that not everyone prioritizes independence quite as young as our family.
 So, let's walk through our home together and I will show you how we planned things with our children's independence in mind. Maybe you will want to try some of these ideas in your home.

Our Shoe Bench
Right by our front door is our shoe bench. Each child has a bin where they can keep their shoes. When they come home, the shoes go in the bin. When they leave, the shoes are waiting for them. There is a large bowl of clean socks so we can always find a pair of socks while we put on our shoes.
But what do our shoes look like?
We avoid complications. Here's a pair of slip-on shoes that our 3 year old loves.

Our 10 year old is good with laces, so she has some shoes with laces. 
Our 7 year old prefers slides.
These are all shoes that they can put on themselves.

Our Library
We have a variety of children's books on shelves where they can reach them. We also have kid-size chairs and a table for them in this space. 
Kitchen
When we moved into our home, I was delighted that I could put a small microwave on a low shelf of our pantry so our children could reach. They like to make popcorn and warm up other little things to eat and drink. Our lower pantry shelf is reserved for them. They can reach and pour their own cereal. They can access snacks throughout the day. Here is a picture of our 3 year old in our pantry, opening up the microwave.
Our children also do some dishes. They may not be the most efficient workers when they're young, but they do have fun!
Here is a video of us doing dishes together.

Restroom
We have a step stool so our youngest can reach anything. Our older children can move it aside when they don't need it.
Here is another blog post where we explain how we organize our counters.
We have a toilet for everyone. Big or tiny, there's a training toilet and a standard size toilet available in our bathroom.
Some people really don't like little training toilets. But I do. Our children started trying to use them when they were crawling. Since the seat is low to the ground, I was less worried about them falling off.
We keep disinfectant on hand to keep them clean.
A mother of multiples friend of mine stowed a training toilet (and bags) in the back of her car so they always had it on hand when they were out and about. I thought that was very clever.  Here are a bunch of reviews of travel training potties from wonderbaby.org

Clothing
Starting very young - even before they were crawling - they had a lot of interest in picking out their own clothes. When they were infants I would pick out two shirts and let her point or grab for her favorite, then put it on. Grabbing skills start at about 4-6 months for most babies.

Our children gained access to their clothing as soon as they could crawl. Stored in low drawers or shelves, they would reach in and pull out their choices on their own. We have found that nightstands make good small dressers for young children. Two drawers is just enough. We keep clothes we wear on our bottom in the bottom drawer, and our tops in the top drawer.

Here's a picture of our 3 year old wearing a towel after a bath. She is picking out underwear from her bottom drawer. As she opened the drawer she chanted: "Bottoms on the bottom and tops on top!" 
I admit, the children did tend to make a mess of things for a while. They wanted to wear many outfits each day. They wanted to put them on themselves, and they sometimes wanted my help.

Because of the potential for mess, we were careful to keep the clothes they could reach to a minimal number. 

We also made sure that the clothing was simple for them to put on themselves, with no complicated buckles or tiny buttons. As long as they were independent with their outfit changes, I didn't really mind.

But let's be clear here: Not everything is always available to them. Any extra or out of season clothing is packed away in boxes. We do have some nice dresses that are too high for our 3 year old to reach. But anything we want them to choose to wear on any given day is right there for them to put on by themselves.

Even when they were very young, they wanted to help put clean laundry away. Here is a video of one of our children when she was very young, crawling up our stairs with something to put away herself.

I love this closet organization guide from Open Doors Open Hearts. It shows how you can organize clothing on different levels for different sized children.

Sum Up
- Keep what they need in reach.
- Give them choices.
- Help them from a distance.

Let them feel a sense of ownership in the home, with spaces designed with them in mind.

Make sure they have some choices, without it being overwhelming. 

Let them do things on their own. A lot of time I will "help" by singing a motivating song and cheering them on. I will show them how I do something, then hand it over to them. 

What do you do to foster a sense of autonomy and independence for the children in your life?

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